We face fear every day.
But when we’re facing a difficult decision, we have two choices:
Love. Or fear.
It really is that simple. And that hard. Because if our default response is anxiety (and has been for a long time), then it can take a lot of effort to choose love or joy or patience or lightness instead.
If we have always chosen to see the world through the lens of fear, our brain continues to reflect that fear back to us.
But what’s really empowering is that we can choose.
We have total control over how we see ourselves, others, and the world around us.
We can re-train and re-wire our brains to focus on love instead of anxiety.
We can consciously replace a fearful thought with a peaceful, kind thought.
We can choose to get angry. Or let it go.
We can choose hate. Or compassion.
We can fear the uncertain future, or get excited about what it may look like.
But know this: you always have a choice.
How to choose love over fear
Here are some things you can try to shift your focus from anxiety to love:
Release your control
Ever noticed how when you’re trying to control a situation, and get a certain result, your anxiety peaks? In my current relationship, I realised I was trying so hard to control where it was going, I wasn’t finding joy in where it was at right now. I was letting my fear of the future ruin the magic in the moment.
So, I let go. I consciously released my grip on the relationship. And I did a meditation every morning (thanks to Gabrielle Bernstein for this one) where I pictured my lover and repeated the mantra, “I release you”. I did this every day until it became my new mindset. And I’ve found SO much joy in seeing my partner and our bond for what it is. Not what it might become.
You can release your fears in the same way. Picture what worries you, and tell it that you release it. Then trust that the universe will send it on its way.
Swap your thoughts
This exercise is super empowering. Let’s say you’re worried about a work presentation. So your mind tells you, “You’ll probably freeze up in that meeting. Remember last time you lost your train of thought and stuffed up the presentation?”
If you focus on that thought, chances are your meeting is going to suck!
Next time a negative thought slips into your mind, tell yourself: “Oh hello fear. I know you’re feeling anxious about tomorrow. But I’m now a clear, confident speaker.” Then picture yourself giving the presentation in a calm, fearless way. Or keeping a clear head during a difficult conversation. Or having a safe flight and reaching your destination without any hassle.
Try these two exercises the next time you’re feeling fearful. I’d love to know if it helps you choose love and joy over fear and anxiety.